


handsome days & beautiful days

by tartejetaime



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Ficlet, Fluff, Gender Identity, Gender Related, Genderfluid Character, M/M, One Shot, it's just fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 09:23:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7042357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tartejetaime/pseuds/tartejetaime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s just that I’m not sure what to say.” Zitao pondered. He’d always just simply been. Although other labels may well have been suited to him, being a boy had never clashed. It was part of how he felt and it just ended up being easier to show the world that side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	handsome days & beautiful days

Zitao hesitated slightly. He rarely felt unsure and couldn’t bear it. Not here, not in his garden, not sitting next to Junmyeon, whose thumb was stroking gentle lines down the back of his hand. It was safe in their small moment. He wasn’t unsure of himself so much as he was unsure of how to put it into words. How could he possibly explain what felt like the most natural thing in the world? As they faced the garden together, Zitao picked carefully through his thoughts.

“Taozi, you don’t have to-it’s alright. I just wanted to make sure you knew, that’s all. If ever you want to talk about things- even things I might not understand, you can.” 

“It’s just that I’m not sure what to say.” Zitao pondered. He’d always just simply been. Although other labels may well have been suited to him, being a boy had never clashed. It was part of how he felt and it just ended up being easier to show the world that side.

“Oh, I see… well-ah, just forget I brought it up… I’m sorry…” To stop Junmyeon from digging himself deeper into his guilt, Zitao gently nestled his head on the other’s shoulder and squeezed his hand.

“Don’t be, I like that we’re open like this.” Zitao nuzzled a bit deeper. Junmyeon wondered what the “we” that they were was. “I guess when it comes to using words for it, it feels… murky? I know how I feel and what feels right, it’s just describing it in words feels… not quite right.”

Junmyeon listened, silently continuing to stroke Zitao’s hand and gently rub the small of his back encouragingly. 

His eyes wandered, searching for words that could help put together his thoughts and feelings into something coherent.

“It’s like….” he started slowly, letting words come to him as he concentrated on the small wild rose hedge beside him He lifted his head to better see the petals. “Well, it’s like with flowers, a bit.” 

Junmyeon shifted, turned and drew his knees up to his chin, loosely clasped his legs, waiting for Zitao. Reaching over to the closest bloom, Zitao gently parted the layers of flower, feeling the petals between his fingertips. 

“Did you know that most of flowers are male and female?” Zitao asked. Junmyeon nodded slightly. “So… there are parts of them that are male. Like, to call it male isn’t… wrong, exactly. It’s just not the entire truth. There are parts of it that aren’t, like the parts that are female and parts that…. maybe aren’t either.” 

He looked back, searching Junmyeon’s face for any reaction. He found encouragement and understanding in the small smile and loosely knit eyebrows. Junmyeon unclasped his hands and reached one out gently. It quickly met Zitao’s free hand, their fingers lacing gently.

“Even if some of it is male, we still call them beautiful. That’s my favourite part. Flowers are beautiful a-and delicate and they’re allowed to be, regardless of being boys.” 

Junmyeon nods gently. Zitao looked down, getting pulled into his own thoughts. He hesitated again, unsure of how to continue. He didn’t even really know if there was anything else to it. It had never been an important thing to discuss or to worry about. He knew how he felt. Handsome days and beautiful days felt different, but both felt nice. Maybe handsome days were a bit easier, but he compensated by beautiful days spent with flowers in his hair. There were no rules, though. Sometimes handsome days had skirts. It wasn’t something he worried much about. 

“I guess that’s most of it… I’m a boy to the world cause it’s just easier that way.” He laughed slightly, looking softly at their hands entwined “The people I take classes with just think I’m ahead of fashion with my skirts and I think that’s okay, I don’t really feel the need to tell people or explain it… I’m really glad you asked though.” 

Zitao held Junmyeon’s gaze for a moment. Then, he gently started to bridge the gap between their faces, resting his weight on his free hand. Junmyeon’s lips met his halfway and Zitao sighed into the warmth. 

“I think I understand. Taozi.” Junmyeon murmured, pressing his forehead gently to Zitao’s. The late afternoon sun had started to lose its warmth, but the garden was still showered in warm yellow light. 

“You’re beautiful.” he said as he gently traced down the curve of the other’s jaw with his fingertips. Zitao glowed. 

“I meant to tell you earlier when you opened the door but-sorry… what?”

Zitao kissed him again.

**Author's Note:**

> just soft gender feels, trying to explain, maybe succeeding, no one too worried about it either way.
> 
> s/o and thank u to jay, my love, who has held my hand thru this au for over a year n gently and very consistently nudged me forward in it. many many hours of discussion n help n the entire world behind this tiny ficlet wouldn't exist w/o him. ty husband<3
> 
> ty to betsy too, who double checked content<3333


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